


The First Blue Christmas

by RavenZaphara



Series: Soul-Searcher AUs [5]
Category: Mobtale (Fandom), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: I swear this is hilarious, M/M, Merry Crit Miss, Mobtale Au, Other, Takes place before Undyne Sans and Papyrus are born, and it will make a lot more sense after i link it to Code Blue, asgore has a rival syndicate, by like two or three years., check the notes for important info, dick mentions, gaster is the leader of his own syndicate, grillby just has a nice little restaurant and bar, if anyone wants to voice any of this i will love you forever, just suggestive material and harsh language, no actual nsfw contained, takes place in the very early 90's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 05:10:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9056863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenZaphara/pseuds/RavenZaphara
Summary: Gaster still wondered how he ended up bonded to this short, weird human, but he had no real regrets. Ever since the blue-souled man came to stay with his syndicate, everyone had been much happier-- and now they were celebrating Christmas together for the first time. Gaster didn't know what to expect, but he never could have imagined his calm family and friends in this new light, a very Blue light.It would be a Christmas he'd hopefully never forget, alcohol aside.





	1. It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Shitscram

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in a mob au of undertale, where the war between humans and monsters never happened, and thus all of my war-time ocs from my prequel fic never died and got to survive into the 1980's and 90's to interact, eventually, with the canon undertale characters.
> 
> If you want to know the relationship between Blue and Gaster in the main universe, check this out at your leisure!: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6545836
> 
> I have a few portraits of the characters drawn out, to make it easier to see who I'm talking about.
> 
> Torbernite is colorblind, it's a running joke in my series, and also, he's deadly poisonous like the stone he was named after. Blue, Gaster, and Pyric are all immune to the toxin, for a reason I didn't have time to include in the story. Basically, Pyric is immune because they came from the same place, and Gaster developed an immunity from close contact over centuries-- and bonding with Blue passed the immunity on.
> 
> Hannibal is going to be in my sequel, but in this au he is with Grillby. In the sequel, Hanny is much more mature and his accent isn't as thick. He's actually a private investigator, long story short.
> 
> Also, everyone is a pervert. Because it's most fun to write perverted characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> added a link to butnobodycame's amazing art of Torby and Pyric.

"Blue, for the last time, I will not sing the song in cipher again." Gaster croaked from laughter brought on by the alcohol-- and it _was_ only the alcohol. It was totally not from the smile that creased the corners of Blue’s eyes as he wheezed from his overdose of joy.

"but i love hearing you sing what sounds like the words ‘sweaty donger’ to the tune of little drummer boy.” He finally managed to say through his laughter.

Gaster pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to appear aloof and used spectral hands to wrap the tree in glittery blue tinsel. He hadn’t expected Blue’s usually acerbic and bitter personality to turn so completely into this. As far as he knew, Blue hadn’t even begun drinking yet tonight. He was humming and bouncing around to the music he’d begun playing. He stooped slightly to grasp at some of the ornaments in the box he’d dragged into Gaster’s office.

Blue was also singing wildly differing lyrics to classic songs. Such as “all i want for christmas is two more feet. two more feet, just two more feet. gee, if i could only have two more feet, i’d be tall enough to kick your ass this christmas!” and, in a more moody moment, “i’m having a blue christmas, without you.” And any attempts to throw Blue off his Christmas spirit had been met with still more strange lyrics-- some of them so vulgar they nearly made Gaster blush.

Gaster had _tried_ to say no, he didn’t want this grossly distracting tree in his office, but when he’d seen Blue smile up at him with a light in his eyes Gaster had never seen before… “Who picked this out?” Gaster inquired, indicating the tinsel that was effectively snowing glitter all over his hardwood floors. He tried not to grind his teeth. “It was Torbernite, wasn’t it?”

From the door, there was a hearty chuckle. “I had to get the box down for him, but it was all Blue!” Torbernite scooped the short human up and threw him upon his shoulders. Blue hadn’t been prepared for the movement and dropped the ornaments he’d been holding, catching one-- but two more began to plummet.

Pyric caught them, one in each hand and scowled up at Blue. “Don’t say a word.”

“ya like holding my blue balls, don’t ya?” Blue pointed at the cobalt orbs in Pyric’s rough, crimson claws.

“I should throw them.” Pyric said, but he was grinning too hard for Blue to be worried. The dragon handed them off to Gaster. “I suppose bossman has more experience with your balls though.”

Gaster managed not to groan in aggravation and continued decorating the damned tree with all shades of blues and silver.

Blue rested his elbows on the large, green dragon’s horns. “whatcha up to?”

Torbernite snickered at Pyric’s expression. [The brothers](https://68.media.tumblr.com/aff75bb5c4e4078be6db476627d784fc/tumblr_inline_odos5ylDxm1t8j60d_540.png) appeared to be having another argument. However, Blue would have never guessed it would be about this. “He says he’s more fit to dress as Santa than me.” Pyric replied witheringly. “But I’m definitely more fit to be Santa! I’m the perfect shade for it.”

“We’re both silver, Pyric.” Torbernite argued. “And I’m larger. I also know how to laugh, unlike you.” It was a known fact that Torbernite was intensely colorblind. He’d admitted once that he knew he was, but it was just more fun to appear clueless. He enjoyed making others laugh. It was beyond endearing.

Pyric huffed in anger, but managed to calm himself down, visibly. Blue offered him the ornament he was still holding. “put this somewhere.”

Pyric accepted it, but muttered, “Put it up your ass.”

“That’s not very festive, brother.” Torbernite said sadly.

Blue just chuckled. “nothing’s more festive than shoving christmas ornaments up your ass.”

Gaster looked over at the others. “Hmm, I think you might be right, Torbernite. Pyric is no Santa. He’s Rudolph.”

“WHAT?!” Pyric roared, staring at the skeleton with a look of utter betrayal and despair behind the mostly-false rage.

Torbernite and Blue began to sing “Pyric the red-nosed dragon.” but the song was a lot less heartwarming-- Torbernite left off the song because he couldn’t breathe. Blue had turned the song into a tavern-level song of using tree decorations as sex toys and anal beads.

Gaster was desperately trying to not laugh as well, ultimately failing when Blue ostentatiously wiggled his eyebrows at the phrase “go down _on_ history.” Because of course Blue would do this. He did this with everything.

It made Gaster feel young again.


	2. Dick the Halls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas has arrived in Gaster's syndicate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy this absolutely naughty chapter. Beware innuendo, because there's a fuckton of it in this chapter.
> 
> Umiyo is Undyne's mother, by the way. In this au, she is Grillby's right-had fish.
> 
> The reason Blue talks in all lowercase is because he can't get loud. He has a very bad head injury that is explained in Code Blue. If anyone's interested in this story, I will post it asap ^.^

Blue was still practically vibrating from excitement through the night, all the way into morning, when he sprung up, the movement throwing Gaster off the bed, and did his best to sprint toward Gaster’s office.

Gaster’s home phone began ringing on the nightstand, and he grumbled from the floor as he grappled for it. “Yes?” He rasped.

Asgore’s voice was hesitant, but just hearing it put Gaster both on guard and at peace. It was always a relief to hear his old friend alive, but with their syndicates being very unsteady in alliance, he was never sure if a call was good or bad.

“I’m sorry, what?” Gaster muttered, massaging his brow as he got off the floor.

“I said thank you. Grillby brought your presents last night, and Toriel and I are very appreciative of your thought.”

There was a ruckus in the background and Toriel took the phone. “I hope you know the brazen drunk nearly burned down our tree. I caught him last night stomping out the tree skirt!” She was laughing, and Gaster could only imagine Asgore was trying to remain the image of brooding that the syndicate expected, but knew that his naturally jovial nature would show in his eyes. It always had.

“Did he try to wear it?” Gaster asked kindly, enjoying the peaceful talk.

She snorted. “No, but that would have been lovely. I caught him and asked him what he was doing, breaking into our house in the middle of the night. He merely slurred that he failed his stealth check. What does that mean?”

“I have no idea.”

“GRILLBY!” Pyric and Torbernite had chorused on Gaster’s end, and Gaster sighed.

“It seems our fiery friend has come to spread the cheer with us as well. I’ll ask him what his phrasing meant, since he should be sober this early in the day.”

“We can only hope.” Toriel agreed.

There was a crash, and Gaster heard laughter. Umiyo’s laughter. “Oh, that’s not good.” He hung up and rushed out to find wrapping paper littered everywhere, and Torbernite wearing what appeared to be a [santa hat](https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M5c465486f7174a156ab3a3d70333301ao0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300) over the area where he’d summon genitalia. He winked at Gaster. “Look, Boss! I have two tails now!”

Umiyo and Blue appeared, each wearing their own variation. Umiyo’s was an [elephant trunk](https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.Ma1908f94106eda830d23ef5620523befo0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300), trailing down to her ankles, flailing as she sprinted down the hall after Torby. She was only wearing a black sports bra and that trunk over a pair of black boy-shorts. Where the rest of her clothes were, Gaster had no clue. Blue hobbled behind her, chuckling, his [candy-cane crotch-stocking](https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.Mdeda6431a0ffc66ab31c48d32f84bf49o0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300) trailing along the floor for at least a full foot behind him.

Gaster found a small stack of gifts with his name on them. Hesitantly, he unwrapped the top one, finding [yet another of the offending thongs](https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M2a2e90dbeceba1e2eea5bb36e6a54aafo0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300), and noted that Blue had picked his out, at least. He could only imagine Blue laughing his short little ass off at Gaster standing stark naked in this disasterous piece of rubbish. The thought brought an unwelcome smile to his face. He hid it away in his coat for later tonight, perhaps-- if Blue behaved himsef, which Gaster sincerely doubted he would.

Pyric and Grillby were sitting together, Grillby in a Santa suit, with the coat charred, the shirt long burnt off. In the distance, the three stocking-wearing idiots were scream-singing “Dick the halls with balls of fury!”

Pyric groaned. “You gave Umiyo fire-whisky, didn’t you? Shame on you.”

Grillby chuckled and handed Pyric his own bottle of hard, coffee-flavored rum. With a twist, Pyric knew. It was his favorite thing that Grillby made, and he cleared his throat to ward off the emotion. Grillby just chuckled more. “Merry Christmas, you insufferable bastard.”

Gaster waded through the wrapping paper with a long-suffering sigh. [Adilet](https://68.media.tumblr.com/33015515a518ff4f3205584578e737d6/tumblr_ogxnpyD8ME1vsxcqwo2_250.jpg), [Zorion](https://68.media.tumblr.com/0386c1d34b865b2d71d9eaff32302e58/tumblr_ogxnpyD8ME1vsxcqwo3_250.jpg), and [Jiyu ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/f87dab55f1ad74de8975ea98440132fb/tumblr_ogxnpyD8ME1vsxcqwo4_400.jpg)were coming down the hall now, and Gaster could only hope they hadn’t seen the nude display the others were currently parading around his hold.

They had a human in front of them, a man in his late twenties, Gaster gauged. He had electric blue dye in his hair, and it was spiked all around his head. He looked ridiculous, even more so in his beat-up leather vest and torn jeans. The punk fad that was building up lately was absolutely atrocious to his eyes, and Gaster couldn’t stand that Pyric was into it, let alone this poor creature.

Grillby got up. Adilet gestured the human closer to him. “We found him wandering around.”

“I got lost.” He said, a thick, lower class British accent making him sound rougher than he looked. “Sorry Boss.”

Gaster hummed. So this was the guy that Grillby had employed lately. He was underwhelmed. But Grillby looked so happy as he introduced the man as Hannibal. For all his talk of “Hanny” being wildly intelligent, Gaster couldn’t see past the leather and Billy Idol-like sneer permanently plastered on his mouth.

And that, he realized, was possibly his aim. Gaster found himself smiling. But then, Adilet continued talking, and Hannibal’s sneer became a sheepish smile as he continued to look at Grillby.

“He was also throwing strange twenty-sided dice at everyone, saying ‘Merry Christmas.’”

“Actually, I was saying ‘Crit-Miss.’” He said with a wider but still very lopsided grin. His accent made it impossible to tell a difference in the phrase.

“I would have been able to forgive him if he didn’t miss every time.” Adilet continued.

Grillby made a noise that Gaster knew to be a plea to not speak again, but the human ignored it. “What can I say? I’m not much of a pitcher.”

Grillby’s mortification was heightened by Hannibal’s wink in his direction, and Gaster found himself laughing. He strode forward, offering a hand to the human. “Welcome.”

Blue appeared and tried to lasso Gaster’s legs with his “candy cane,” which brought everyone else to laughter.

Hannibal motioned to Zorion and Jiyu, who were holding a pile of books, Gaster noticed now. “There’s this new game I’ve been studying up, called Dungeons and Dragons, and me ‘n Bee have been really enjoying it. Thought we could all play it, have a nice time.” Gaster could tell he was trying to dial back his accent. It was quite endearing. He’d have to give him pointers, from one immigrant to another.

The next few hours were some of the strangest he’d ever endured, with Umiyo heavily drunk, Blue making jokes about his dick-sleeve, and Torby putting clothes back on and wearing the thong over his garments, just to make sure he didn’t accidentally poison anyone on accident. (Gaster really needed to design that immunity tonic soon. That would have made a lovely gift.)

After the game ended, it was late enough for everyone to begin drinking in earnest. Even Gaster found himself drinking a pint of what Grillby eagerly admitted to be ale like the old days. It tasted wretched-- but authentically so.

Torby and Pyric were on top of a very sturdy table, dancing animatedly. Torbernite ran out of Christmas songs that he knew very quickly, and so ended up singing Take On Me before passing out in the floor shortly after. Pyric, who had been drinking much more, obviously had higher tolerance, for he was still up there performing, swilling bottle after bottle of rum, and later, straight scotch.

Blue took up a battle song, to Pyric’s embarrassment. “pyric the red nosed dragon, had some very shiny ‘stones’ and if you ever saw them, he'd punch you straight in the goddamn nose. all of the other dragons knew to stay out of his way, they knew that baby pyric didn't know how to control his flames. then when he hit puberty--”

Pyric had had enough and screamed, “BLUE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

To his disappointment, Blue and Hannibal were off in the corner, each of them making continuously worse lyrics to the songs. The two human men had much in common and seemed to be plotting a rebellion against their monster lovers, at least in jest. Gaster was relieved that Blue had a new human friend.

Pyric and Grillby were both dancing on the table now, trying to one-up each other. They’d always had a rivalry, but never this intense, Gaster mused. He was starting to feel soft around the edges, and so when Blue crawled up into his lap, he was somewhat surprised and wrapped the tiny, still mostly naked man in his arms, laying his face on his hair.

“g, you okay?”

“My face is very warm,” Gaster muttered. “You’re still wearing that god-awful sleeve?”

“yeah, it makes me happy. sorry, i know it’s not _that_ big though.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I’d love to see you out of it.” Gaster’s voice dipped low and made the hair on Blue’s neck stand up.

“jeezum crow, g.” Blue laughed. “cuttin’ you off the nog as of now.”

Yes, he certainly had felt young again, but now he was aware he’d feel so old and full of pain the morning after. Gaster refused to quit drinking regardless and later ended up sleeping strung across one of the longer tables.

It had certainly been worth it, he decided. He’d never enjoyed the holiday before Blue had brought it to him. If this was what a Blue Christmas was like, he was willing to put up with another year to see another one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot that i split this into two chapters. I guess I didn't have to, but it felt better to.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me who your favorite character was, or what made you laugh most. It will make my year. 
> 
> If you can't get enough Blue, i suggest reading the Underswap Babybones fic where he raises them in the labs with the assistance of Grillby and wine-aunt Muffet. Drunk Muffet is the most fun to write.
> 
> If you're new to my stories, I hope you enjoyed and aren't too confused. Please enjoy your holidays and Stay Determined this new year!


End file.
